


One shots

by SixofCrowsBabies



Category: The Hangover (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M, Multi, Phil likes board games, dad!Phil, lots of implied Stu/Phil but they’re not really together, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-27 21:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20414293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SixofCrowsBabies/pseuds/SixofCrowsBabies
Summary: Just some Hangover one shots





	1. Walking In-Stu/Phil

“Hey Phil, where’s the-“ Stu says as he walks into the bathroom. The dentist abruptly stops talking as he sees Phil.

The teacher is currently in the large bathtub in the hotel’s bathroom, only a few conveniently placed bubbles keeping him from being completely in view. 

“What are you doing,” Stu says stupidly.

“I’m taking a bath, what does it look like,” Phil replies, seemingly unbothered. 

“Yeah, I know, I just,” says Stu. “Wasn’t expecting...that.”

“Hey, you’re the one who barged in, I have a full right to be in here,” Phil says. “Anyway, what were you looking for?”

“Oh,” Stu responds, willing his brain to function correctly. “I was just wondering where the uh, that wad of cash is.”

“Oh, it’s in the safe,” says Phil. 

Stu nods and is about to leave when Phil reaches for a towel and stands up. The movement causes Stu to turn around, but he quickly turns back. 

Soon Phil is next to him, wearing only a towel around his waist. 

“You don’t have to, it’s fine,” Stu says, but Phil interrupts and says, “I’m the only one that knows the combo. Can’t trust anyone in this day and age.”

He continues walking, and Stu follows behind, trying very hard not to focus on the way his friend’s shoulder muscles seem to slope perfectly down his back, the way his wet hair hangs in loose waves, the fact there this is literally only a towel covering him…

He snaps to attention when Phil punches in the code to the safe and opens it, revealing a wad of cash, his wallet, a few bottles of alcohol, and what appears to be a porcelain swan figurine. Phil takes the cash and hands it to Stu. 

“Don’t spend it all in one place,” he says. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to continue my bath that you very rudely interrupted.”

“Hey, you didn’t tell me you were taking a bath,” Stu protests, eliciting a chuckle from Phil. 


	2. Monopoly-Stu/Phil, Alan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil and Stu have been playing Monopoly for hours...obviously some shit is gonna go down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve watched this movie literally 6 times in the past few days now I’m writing a lot of fic lmao.

“That that, asshole,” Phil says as he claims Pennsylvania Avenue, the exhaustion clear in his voice. 

“Ah, but you do not own Park Place,” Stu replies, sounding equally tired. 

“I will get it from you if it’s the last damn thing I do,” says Phil. 

It’s currently three in the morning, and they’ve been playing Monopoly for eight hours straight. Alan and Doug were originally part of the game too, but Doug sold his shares and left around midnight, and Alan is currently sitting on the couch, reading a book on how to make crafts with cat hair. 

“Don’t you have school tomorrow,” Stu asks. 

“Eh, I’ll just give the little fuckers a packet,” Phil replies. “Don’t you have work tomorrow, Doctor?”

“Oh fuck,” Stu says as he comes to that realization. He scrubs a hand over his face and says, “Well, there’s no procedures scheduled, just consultations. And hey, you haven’t paid me rent for the last five turns!”

“I thought we came to an agreement, Stu,” Phil says. “I don’t pay you rent, you collect an extra few from the bank, and eventually I’ll buy all your shit and be the winner.”

Stu is too tired to argue at this point. He yawns and shifts positions so that he’s lying on his stomach, head propped up on his elbows, just like Phil. 

The teacher lands on Park Place, and Stu holds out his hand for the rent money. 

Phil looks at the outstretched hand, takes a second, then widens his eyes in disbelief. “We had a deal!”

“That deal is bullshit,” Stu replies. 

“Hey, a deal’s a deal,” Alan says from the couch. 

“Thank you, Alan,” Phil says. 

Stu doesn’t budge. After a brief staring contest, Phil reaches for his pile and hands Stu the cash. 

“Don’t take it personal,” Stu says. 

“Whatever,” Phil grumbles.

Maybe it’s his extremely sleep deprived state or the fact that right now he feels kinda bad for Phil, but Stu says, “Love you, Phil.” 

“Love you too, Stu.”

“Did you guys know you can make a whole blanket from cat hair?!”


	3. Playing Sorry-Phil and Alan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is expecting to have a quiet night in with his kid, but Alan shows up with...Sorry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love Dad!Phil, and I just had to include Alan in this, so here we go

This is one of the rare weekends Phil gets to spend with Eli. His son is nearly eight now, and after the divorce Phil was relegated to only being his guardian on one weekend per month. 

He had planned on the weekend being a quiet one, maybe go out to dinner, watch some movies, play at the park. Then, on Friday night, Alan shows up at the Wenneck house, a bottle of gin and a board game in his hands. 

“Alan, what the fuck are you-“ Phil says, but Eli comes running into the room and yells, “UNCLE ALAN!”

Phil wants to send Alan away, but Eli is already running to him and extending his arms for a hug. Alan passes the gin, which Phil immediately puts on a high shelf, and the game, which he now sees is Sorry. 

“Daddy, you didn’t tell me Uncle Alan was coming over,” Eli exclaims. 

“Yeah, I didn’t really know either,” Phil says through gritted teeth. “But he’s here now, so let’s play some Sorry!”

An hour later, they’re sitting at the kitchen table, immersed in the board game in front of them. Alan has two pieces in his home with one nearby, Eli has three in the home and one farther away, and Phil has one piece in the home, with the other three in various places on the board. 

“Dang, Phil, I thought you were better at this,” Alan says. “It’s almost like you’re letting him wi-“

Phil gives him a hard slap on the shoulder and nods his head towards Eli, who is moving his last piece to a different place. Alan looks confused, then shrugs and takes a card. 

A few minutes later, Eli wins the game, and Phil exaggeratedly laments his defeat, while Alan sits there, that vacant expression still on his face. 

“Alright buddy, I think it’s time for bed,” Phil says, standing up. He looks at Alan and pointedly says, “Say goodnight to Uncle Alan.”

“Goodnight Uncle Alan,” Eli says cheerfully, then skips towards the bathroom. 

Alan thankfully takes the hint and heads to the door, not bothering to grab the board game. When he reaches the doorway, he looks up at the gin and asks, “You gonna drink that?”

“Most likely,” Phil replies.

“Okay. Just making sure.”

“Goodnight, Alan.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know why I have Phil playing so many board games. I think we would like them though.


	4. Not a Villa-Possible Stu/Phil, Alan, Doug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the “I’m bunking with Phil,” line from the first movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was really fun to write, lol.

“Phil, before we check in, just note that we are  _ not  _ getting a villa,” Doug says.

“Aw, come  _ on _ ,” Phil replies. “We got a room that has what, two beds? How am I supposed to live like this?”

“Well, last time we bought a villa and didn’t even sleep in any of the beds, who knows if this time is gonna be any different,” Stu says. 

“As long as there’s a place to put my one of a kind swan figurine, I’m happy,” Alan states. 

They reach the front desk, and Doug immediately says, “We don’t want to make any room changes. We’re fine the way we are.” 

The woman behind the desk smiles and nods. Phil turns toward Doug, a frustrated expression on his face, as the woman gets them checked in. 

“I’m bunking with Phil,” Alan says. 

The teacher attempts to protest, but Doug quickly says, “Alright then, I’m with Stu.”

Hours later, they’re settling in for the night, and Phil is only wearing underwear when Alan approaches him and says, “By the way, I have a uh, a...touching problem.”

“Wait, wait what do you mean by that-“ Phil responds, but the other man has already walked away. 

It’s the middle of the night when he discovers what that means. The man is completely pressed up against Phil’s body, his arm draped over his stomach, Alan’s hot breath landing directly on Phil’s neck. 

Phil hears a stifled laugh come from the bed next to him, and looks over to see Stu lying there, his hand clamped over his mouth to stop his laughter from coming out. 

Phil flips him the bird, and Stu flips one back. 

“Fucking asshole,” the teacher mouthes. 

“I know,” Stu replies. 

Phil would have crossed his arms if it wasn’t for the man-child currently clinging to him like a newborn baby. He settles for turning his head and staring at the ceiling, praying for some miracle to happen that would allow him to get some sleep. 

The miracle doesn’t happen, so Phil decides to sleep on the couch. He begins extracting himself from Alan, but stops after a few seconds of struggle. He looks over to the other bed, where Stu is, yet again, watching him. 

Phil mouths a very emphasized, “Fuck you,” and looks back up at the ceiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how many people read Hangover fics in 2019, but if you are one of those people, please leave kudos and comment!


	5. Nine Months-Stu, Phil, Doug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil attempts to persuade Stu to break up with Melissa by asking a very awkward question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a little bit shorter than I’d like, but I still think this one is pretty good.

“When’s the last time you had sex with Melissa?”

“What,” Stu replies incredulously. 

“You heard me,” Phil says. 

“Phil, I don’t know if that’s-“ Doug says, but Phil holds up a hand to silence him. 

“Come on man, when’s the last time you got any action? Dry humping, touching her tits, you know,” says Phil, then makes a very specific hand gesture that can only imply one thing. 

“Okay, if you must know,” Stu says. “It has been,” he sets down his beer bottle and clears his throat. “Nine months since anything of that sort happened.”

“Nine fuckin’ months, unbelievable,” Phil says. “Why is that, huh?”

“You know that she’s grossed out by semen,” Stu exclaims. “When’s the last time you had sex with Stephanie, huh?”

“Two weeks,” Phil says. “And even that feels like a damn long time.”

“It’s not that long,” Stu mutters. 

“Yes it is,” Phil replies. “I mean, come on, you know Doug and Tracy are going at it like rabbits, me and Stephanie have been married for five years and we’re still as active as newlyweds, why the hell has it been nine months since you got any action?”

“I’m not upset about it,” Stu says. “As long as she’s happy, I’m happy.”

“Sure man,” Phil says, taking another sip of beer. “Whatever you wanna tell yourself.” 


	6. Sick/Stu/Phil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stu is sick and Phil comes over to take care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably gonna do another one similar to this in the future, but enjoy this one for now!

“Phil,” Stu says blearily, looking up and blinking slowly. “What are you...what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to take care of you, bud,” Phil replies. “Doug told me you were sick, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.”

“You don’t have to take care of me,” Stu says, but he knows he doesn’t sound convincing. 

Phil doesn’t say anything, just sets his briefcase down and kneels next to Stu’s couch. 

“I’ve missed work for three days,” Stu groans. “I am so fucked.” 

“I thought dentists got sick days,” Phil says. 

“Technically they do,” says Stu. “But the more time I take off, the less money I make, so every moment I spend on this couch is a moment I am losing money.”

“Well I would prefer for my dentist to not be sick while he’s poking around in my mouth,” replies Phil. “Who knows what kinda fucking diseases you have.”

“Hey,” Stu exclaims. “You have way more diseases than I do!”

“I fucking do not,” Phil says. 

“Whatever,” the dentist replies. “Hey, is there any chance you can run me a bath? I haven’t showered in days.”

“No shit,” replies Phil.

He stands up and walks toward the bathroom, and Stu settles back into the couch. He reaches for another tissue and throws it on the floor with the other ones. 

A few minutes later, Phil comes back into the living room and states, “Bath’s ready.”

Stu groans and stands up, almost falling back into the couch in the process. Phil walks over to him and settles a hand behind his back, gently pushing him in the direction of the bathroom. Stu wants to lean into Phil’s body and stay there, but he forces himself to shuffle forward. 

When they reach the bathroom, Phil looks at Stu and asks, “Anything else?” His raised eyebrow and smirk clarify that he definitely does not mean anything nice. 

“Nope,” Stu says, then steps inside and closes the door.

“It was worth a shot,” Phil yells, then smirks and walks back to the living room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished my sixth?? Seventh?? Watching of the movie


End file.
